Returning to School: Helping Your Family Set Up Healthy Routines.
“Some children and their families will thrive with the increased structure and routine of the academic year relative to the summer. Others will struggle…”
Back to school can be an exciting, yet nerve-wracking time for parents and teens. Some children and their families will thrive with the increased structure and routine of the academic year relative to the summer. Others will struggle with potential academic, extracurricular and social stressors. For most, it will be a mixed bag of positive and negative emotions and juggling demands. Two of our REACH clinicians, Julia Page, and Krista Capobianco recently lead a parent support group on returning to school and offer some questions and guidelines related to dealing with this transition at home.
Reflection Questions.
It can be helpful to consciously check-in about our feelings on our children going back to school:
What about ‘back to school’ time is most stressful for you as a parent?
Does your family’s routine get thrown off during the summer months?
Do your children struggle to maintain appropriate sleep schedules going back into school?
How do you show stress externally? How do you deal with stress internally?
Are pressures/expectations different for kids and parents now than they were when you were growing up?
Honestly answering these questions and then asking your teen similar questions can create more intention in the transition back to school and identify areas of concern or strength. Reflect on your family values and think about how much time is being spent on things of high or low value- time spent together as a family, extracurricular activities, pursuing interests, completing homework, socializing with friends, self-care etc.
At Home.
Work on implementing routines for sleep, homework, extracurricular activities, and, most importantly family time. Start these discussions and routines BEFORE school starts whenever possible.
Although your teen might not always respond, create opportunities for open communication and don’t take it personally if they don’t want to talk.
Set age-appropriate expectations surrounding bedtimes, homework, curfews, household chores, and extracurricular activities. Involve your teen in these discussions and allow them to take increasing responsibility over managing their schedule.
Work on managing your own stress and modeling this for your teens.
Set aside protected fun family time whenever possible. Avoid talking about school during these times unless your teen brings it up. Creating opportunities to connect with your teens is the best way to build trust and communication and ensure that they will come to you if they have concerns.
Often there is a honeymoon period at the beginning of school and then stressors build up after several weeks when reality sets in. Be prepared to validate and/or give your teen space during this and more challenging times and redirect them to talk rather than act out their feelings when possible.
Remember that school is just part of their day and their academic identity is just part of who they are as people. Encourage activities that build confidence and connection in and out of school.
Although some difficulty with transition back to school is normal, if you are concerned about how your teen is handling the transition discuss these concerns with a therapist or your pediatrician.
For more information on returning to school, join Julia and Krista for parts 2 and 3 of their Free Virtual Support Group: on Advocating for School Support on September 18th at 12pm and Mental Health and Schools on September 23 at 12pm.
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
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