Intersecting Identities: Celebrating Autistic Pride

Jun 22

By Alyssa Gatto, PhD

A double rainbow happens when multiple spectrums collide. This is what happens when we celebrate
Autistic Pride Day.

Individuals on the autism spectrum are characterized by differences in social communication and interaction, and in restricted and repetitive behaviors and interests. Up to 35% of autistic youth identify as LGBTQIA+, making them an important part of the queer community. The National Autistic Society provides more information on the relationship between gender identity and autism.

Autistic individuals are more than capable of giving and receiving love when it matches their identities, despite harmful and inaccurate stereotypes. Research shows around 50% of autistic individuals are in relationships, compared to 70% of their neurotypical peers. Many are partnered with individuals who are not on the spectrum.

Shows like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Love on the Spectrum have foregrounded autistic individuals’ quest for love. But more needs to be done to portray these experiences and queer love accurately in the media. Fiction like The Unbalancing by R.B. Lemberg or An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon makes important leaps by featuring queer autistic protagonists.

While we celebrate our queer autistic youth, it is important to understand how to love and support your friends, children, and partners. Youth who share both identities are likely to experience higher rates of violence as they are experiencing stigma in multiple areas.

Research has shown that having at least one supportive adult can minimize the risk of suicide for youth navigating their gender and sexual identity. While the queer community can be a safe place for many LGBTQIA+ youth, those on the autism spectrum may have a more difficult time connecting. Erin Ekins provides an incredible guide for teens and their families: Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum.

How can you build and sustain loving relationships with those on the spectrum?

Be direct. They are more likely to take things literally—body language may be missed. Additionally, it will be harder to “catch your drift” if you use sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, or eye rolls.
Be understanding. They may express themselves in different ways than you do. They may be bolder or clearer in their expression or still exploring their expression. Certain things may seem concrete, and it will be important to have conversations around staying in the closet and gender expression. They might reject social norms and may want to “unmask” their autistic behaviors in social settings or in private.
Give space. They may be overstimulated in large settings or by physical touch. It may be helpful to have back-up plans for activities in crowded settings. Additionally, have clear conversations around consent and what types of physical touch are welcomed.
Take it slow. Change may take longer and require more direction. Shifting routines may be particularly challenging—preparing and giving a heads up is helpful. Respect preferences for structure as much as possible.

More than anything, it is important to remember that our LGBTQIA+ autistic youth are individuals. Each with their own constellation of strengths and preferences. By welcoming them with love and support we can celebrate the light that their intersecting spectrums of identify bring.

Find more resources for LGBTQ+ autistic youth here.