What Teens Want Parents to Know
By Molly Hedrick, PhD
Parents sometimes complain that their teens don’t communicate with them. It can be hard to know how to help their teens who may be struggling with mental health issues or everyday stressors.
During family therapy at Bradley REACH, we make it clear that everyone in the family will be asked to make changes in order for the entire family system to be as healthy as possible.
One of the best things parents can do to help their teens is to actually ask what they can do to help and then actually listen to what their teens say. I encourage parents to validate teens for communicating and then ask teens if they just need someone to listen, if they need advice or help problem solving, or if they need a parent to get more involved. Allowing teens to lead discussions builds trust and healthy relationship building.
I recently asked a group of teens what their parents can do to help, this is what they said:
Teen advice to parents:
“Play a game and talk.”
“Think about how your child feels before you respond.”
“Give positive feedback. For every negative, say 2 positives.”
“Use ‘I feel...’ statements.”
“Make time to do what they want.”
“Go to the beach or go shopping.”
“Share their interests and take an interest in what they’re interested in.”
“Give them space.”
“Bring them a home-cooked meal.”
“Take them to a park and actually participate in the activity.”
“Take time for bonding. Ask what they want to do.”
“Give hugs and fist pumps. Show love.”
“Validate their problems and don’t make them seem less than yours or minimize them.”
“Don’t act like your child owes you for being a parent.”
Remember that every teen is different and may need different things from your day to day and moment to moment. The key is to ask and show that you care. Contrary to popular belief, your teen really does want a healthy relationship with you and it’s our job as parents to work with them towards that goal.
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
Molly Hedrick, PhD
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